Tuesday, February 17, 2009
It is our first overcast day along with the wind, here on Maui. Seems to match the color of my feelings right now. Yesterday I had to give permission to a vet that I didn't know, to put my 13 year old dog to sleep last night. She was healthy when we left home, but had been hiding a tumor in her heart until it was too late to help her. She was a magnificent dog, giving unconditional love always, protecting our home and us, nearly giving her own life once to save mine, chasing coyotes with me or without, wagging her tail when she ate and smiling when she was so happy she could no longer contain it. I have had 6 dogs in my lifetime and only my first dog and Beamer have been this close to me. Last night I was sitting in my tears trying to think why it was that I could love a dog so much, so deeply. This morning it came to me, after dreaming all night, she was the free spirit in me, my spirit with the human inhibitions taken away. Chasing coyotes with her was like running in the wind but not being earthbound. Crazy, how many of you have chased after coyotes?! We would lay on the grass afterwards grinning, I would talk about the excitement and she would do her deep purr of contentment. Dog and human Heaven intertwined. Beamer also leaves behind a sister golden retriever, not by blood, but the same age, growing up together. She is with my son and his precious family as she is so distraught. We couldn't leave her at home for the neighbor kids. Barkley is refusing to eat or drink, so my 4 year old grandson is sitting vigil with her, making bread balls for her when she decides to eat. He will be there for her. Their 2 Goldens died 6 and 8 months ago of lymphoma at 6 years of age. Cancer tends to take the ones I love, human or not.
Thank you for listening to me. Some will understand this, others will think me crazy with all that is going on in the world. Pets, no matter what kind, seem to be God's gift for companionship and an example of His unconditional love. If only we could all love each other in the same way.