Tuesday, February 17, 2009


It is our first overcast day along with the wind, here on Maui. Seems to match the color of my feelings right now. Yesterday I had to give permission to a vet that I didn't know, to put my 13 year old dog to sleep last night. She was healthy when we left home, but had been hiding a tumor in her heart until it was too late to help her. She was a magnificent dog, giving unconditional love always, protecting our home and us, nearly giving her own life once to save mine, chasing coyotes with me or without, wagging her tail when she ate and smiling when she was so happy she could no longer contain it. I have had 6 dogs in my lifetime and only my first dog and Beamer have been this close to me. Last night I was sitting in my tears trying to think why it was that I could love a dog so much, so deeply. This morning it came to me, after dreaming all night, she was the free spirit in me, my spirit with the human inhibitions taken away. Chasing coyotes with her was like running in the wind but not being earthbound. Crazy, how many of you have chased after coyotes?! We would lay on the grass afterwards grinning, I would talk about the excitement and she would do her deep purr of contentment. Dog and human Heaven intertwined. Beamer also leaves behind a sister golden retriever, not by blood, but the same age, growing up together. She is with my son and his precious family as she is so distraught. We couldn't leave her at home for the neighbor kids. Barkley is refusing to eat or drink, so my 4 year old grandson is sitting vigil with her, making bread balls for her when she decides to eat. He will be there for her. Their 2 Goldens died 6 and 8 months ago of lymphoma at 6 years of age. Cancer tends to take the ones I love, human or not.

Thank you for listening to me. Some will understand this, others will think me crazy with all that is going on in the world. Pets, no matter what kind, seem to be God's gift for companionship and an example of His unconditional love. If only we could all love each other in the same way.


Mary said...

Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss. I understand and I just feel so bad that it hurts so much! love isn't confined to the people around us...our pets give us so much, perhaps at times something more because it is so unconditional. If someone does read your post and perhaps does not understand it, is sadly their loss...and I do hope that will change for them. The friendship I have with "Louie" is a gift that I am grateful for every day. Louie came into my life when nothing could make me smile...in many ways he helped save my life! Thank you so much for sharing your joy of knowing your sweet dog and your grief...I will keep you in my prayers! Mary

Rebecca said...

I do not fully understand where our love for our beloved pets are placed in the grand scheme of eternity. What I do know is that God knows our hearts and if heaven is truly all the things I believe it to be, He alone will work out the details in regards to our earthly losses. I've buried two deeply loved dogs since becoing an adult..both were devastating and hard to overcome! I share your hurt and your profound loss...praying for healing and that the memories with your precious pooch will sustain you in the years ahead.

Love to you both...Reb

zoebabie said...

Hi, i felt deeply sad of your loss...Sweet memories will always stay inside your heart please don't be upset :)


Michelle (Shell) May said...

Animals are such a precious gift that touch our hearts and break our hearts so deeply when they pass on. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my prayers.
bunny hugs,

Bellamere Cottage said...

I'm so sorry about your precious dog and your son's dogs as well. We're pet people around here and our dogs are always part of our family. My daughter and son-in-law took our dog (the family dog while my daughter was at home) to live with them. She was so sweet, but finally, it was her time. My daughter had them save her ashes. Sadly, my son-in-law was killed in a car accident six years ago this coming Saturday and my daughter had sweet Emma buried with him...he loved that dog so much.

Warm Comfort........

PS......My husband is from Oahu....one of his daughters lives on Maui, the other on Oahu. Beautiful, isn't it?